The Bear River Cafeteria has erupted into chaos as famous food critic Guy Fieri rated it as one of his top five restaurants.
The Bear River cafeteria, founded in 1986, has been loyally serving Bear River students every school day for those 39 years.
Fieri decided to rate the cafeteria after receiving numerous letters from students praising the food and urging him to review it. He was skeptical at first, saying, “I’ve never rated a cafeteria before,” but now says he is grateful he decided to give it a try.
One of the things Fieri says he enjoys most about the BR Cafeteria is its retro feel.
“It feels like they haven’t replaced a single piece of furniture or renovated at all since it was established,” Fieri said.
The cafeteria workers loved that he noticed this.
“It feels great! We made sure to keep this retro feel just in case a moment like this ever arose,” said Kale Periwinkle, the worker who restocks the condiments.
Fieri also commented on how the tables made him appreciate open space more.
“The cramped seats force me to contort just to fit into a semi-comfortable position,” he said. “It really makes one appreciate the openness of life. Just another great feature.”
Another feature that sealed the dea” was the always-changing menu, with just the right amount of structure.
With Fiesta Wednesdays, Chicken Nugget Fridays, and tikki malsala mixed in as a special, the BR Cafeteria’s menu is a “culinary masterpiece,” according to Fieri.
He recommends the cheeseburger, saying that “it only partially tastes like it has been frozen,” though his favorite dish “by far” is the lasagna.
“It has a great taste and has an amazing texture, a mix between cardboard and plastic,” said Fieri, “and the dryness really encourages one to stay hydrated. I drank about three milk cartons while I was there.”
He now remarks that the milk is “still with him,” showing just how good it is.
The BR Cafeteria’s popularity has already risen since the review, and it has begun implementing some changes. Reservations are now required, and they fill fast.
One student was overheard saying, "I used to get cafeteria food whenever I wanted it, but now I’m stuck on a month-long waiting list just for a chance to get some."
One of the reasons the BR Cafeteria is so hard to get into now is because they have opened up to non-students as well, with one saying, “I’ve been waiting so long for this to happen. I already knew they had good food, and then Guy Fieri? I stayed up all night to make the first reservation of the day.”
Students have started organizing protests against allowing outsiders in, and some have become violent. The BR Cafeteria has released a statement expressing that they have no desire to revert to their “old ways”.
